My heart is heavy. So, so heavy. Lately, I have been surrounded by numerous marriages that are breaking or have finally broken. I have been surrounded by marriages filled with unmet expectations, anger, heartbreak, uncertainty, despair.
I may have even just described you, but let me encourage you. Their marriage is not your marriage.
There is hope for your marriage.
My prayer for you is that your marriage is different, that your marriage is abnormal even. I pray that your marriage exceeds expectations. That your marriage is full of laughter, peace, and hope. Not because you are amazing, not because your spouse is amazing. But because the God you love is amazing.
As you and your spouse intentionally become more like Christ each and every day, you become more like Love (1st John 4:8). You become more loving, more joyful, more patient. You become more faithful, more forgiving, more humble. Who wouldn’t want these adjectives to describe their marriage?
Loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, faithful, gentle, forgiving, humble
The Love Triangle
When my husband Caleb was growing up, his mother Lisa told him that as he drew closer to God, he would become closer to the woman he would one day marry. She described what I call “The Love Triangle.” At the bottom corners of the triangle base was him and his future wife. At the top of the triangle was God. As the man and woman both pursued God, they would find ultimately themselves closer to one another, one day finally meeting and eventually marrying.
While Lisa used the triangle to teach Caleb about finding his spouse, the same is true for creating a healthy marriage. As you and your spouse draw closer to God, you experience God’s love triangle. When we drift from the love of God, we soon find ourselves drifting from our spouse. When we run from the love of God, we run from our spouse. But when we both intentionally make time for God to stir our heart, we give Him permission to take off our selfish blinders and allow ourselves to fully love the spouse He has given us.
Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;
Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman keeps awake in vain. – Psalm 127:1
May God become the builder of your marriage. May the struggles you experience day in and day out not be in vain, but simply be part of the construction process. May the chaotic seasons simply be part of God’s renovation process to expand your marriage into a mansion.
A beautiful mansion.
A mansion built so well, so breath-taking, and so long-standing that others can’t help but stand in awe and ask how you did it.
And the only answer you will be able to give is that it was God.
Know I am praying for you and your marriage. For those of you who are currently single, know I am praying for your future marriage. My deepest prayer is that your commitment to marriage lasts and ultimately reveals God’s faithfulness, forgiveness, and love to others. The process will be messy at times, but trust me. It will be extravagantly beautiful.