In my previous post, I addressed how many of us experience loneliness and rejection, but feel like we are the only one encountering those emotions. We went through 3 myths that we can subconsciously begin believing. Check out my previous post for more details.
Now that we have countered the lies of loneliness and rejection with the truth, here are some next steps to overthrow our feelings.
Invite someone over.
- Call/text/email a few different individuals and invite them somewhere with you. Give them some time to respond and don’t get upset if it takes a while for them to respond. People have busy lives and don’t always look at their phones.
- If you feel like someone isn’t reciprocating the friendship, it may be a bad season for them. Their need for friendship may be fulfilled, but obviously yours isn’t. Don’t be afraid to meet someone new or strengthen your friendship with a current acquaintance.
Like a broken tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in a time of trouble. – Proverbs 25:9
- If people can’t hang out, don’t take it personally. Usually when people tell us no, they don’t mean “no I’m not interested in hanging out with you.” They simply mean “I’m not available right now.” Ask if there’s another time that would work better for them.
Try something new.
- Usually loneliness creeps in when we aren’t doing something, so what better way to get rid of loneliness than to do something! Try making a homemade pizza or learning a new hobby. Go to the grocery store and buy a fruit you’ve never tasted before. Go on a new adventure.
- Whether it’s a massive party or a one-on-one hang out, you can still have new conversations and new experiences. Some of my favorite moments from college were when I would decorate funfetti cookies, watch movies, and chat with a girlfriend. Just her and me. Not 20+ friends and me. More isn’t always merrier. While huge group gatherings are fun, don’t let Instagram pictures fool you into thinking you have to be with 10+ friends to be important. You can still have fun when you’re just with one.
Enjoy where you are.
- Speaking of Instagram, take a break from the tech. If you’ve been comparing yourself and your relationships to those you see on social media, it may be time to delete an app for a season. As Steven Furtick says, frequently “we compare our behind-the-scenes to others’ highlight reels.” If you continually see yourself getting frustrated with a specific person, you may even need to unfollow them for a while.
- Ask God to show you who is in your life currently that will be your next friend. As someone once told me, learn to “bloom where you’re planted.” All you single ladies: while God has an amazing man in store for you, God has some amazing girl and guy friendships in your life ALREADY. Change your focus from what you don’t have to what you do
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things . – Philippians 4:8
- Rather than focusing on the friendships and romantic relationships that others have, focus your thoughts on the people God desires for you to meet during this time of your life. A lot of times we spend time dwelling on past relationships, frustrated with our present relationships, or longing for future relationships. Remind yourself that God has a purpose for the individuals He places in your life. When you focus on His purpose, your emotions won’t be in turmoil.
You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. – Isaiah 26:3